


Lightning in a bottle

by Schizocheater



Series: McKirk [3]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Death, Fluff, Hurt!Jim, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-12
Updated: 2016-02-12
Packaged: 2018-05-19 21:35:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5981674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schizocheater/pseuds/Schizocheater





	Lightning in a bottle

“The last time I saw you break someone’s nose was when Cupcake called me your sugar daddy”Jim snorts at the words, wincing from the pain in his face immediately, his cheekbone hurt, his split lip itching from the dry blood. He felt a dull headache creeping it’s way around his skull. Nevertheless, it was totally worth it. His cousin was in way worse shape and absolutely deserved what he got. “He shouldn’t have said those things about Sam. God, sometimes I think dad was the only male with a functioning brain on that side of the family.” When Leonard and Jim started their relationship-ish thing in the academy, neither of them wanted anything serious. But eventually they’ve become inseparable, both mentally and physically. Sometimes after long hours in Starfleet’s Medical Centre or after a lecture Leonard felt an almost painful need to touch Jim. It was like his body simply refused to function without the presence of his lover. From day to day he lived for those private moments when the world outside their door stopped existing. Nothing behind the walls of their room could be more important than the little time they had for themselves. The endless kisses, the gentle touches and the scorching heat of lust between them. ‘Ancient Greeks based their whole culture on the superior higher power that controlled everything’ read Jim once from an actual, all smell of paper and ink, book that he found in the library. And they decided to base their life on that power too, because love was all they needed as long as they had each other. Who said passion dies fast never saw the way Jim looked at Leonard. Who ever questioned their love never heard their hours-long conversations. So when one day the idyll was broken by a single comm message, Leonard promised himself to never let anyone hurt Jim like his mother, or her constant absence, did. Winona had the habit of appearing in her younger son’s life when she felt like that and was happy to give orders, advices and to critique every breath of James Tiberius How-you-dare-to-talk-to-me-like-that Kirk. Leonard was angry, but he understood. He knew the ache of a broken heart, he felt the void in his chest after watching his own marriage falling apart. Winona became an army of one person, a soldier without a war to fight. So instead of enemies she fought the only things connecting her to the past. She wanted to raise strong and independent sons who would follow their parents’ footsteps, but those were hell of a big shoes to fill. Leonard knew a lot about Jim’s life, but there were things he could only guess. “Ouch! Jesus, Bones, you fell asleep or what? Let go of my arm before you rip it off!”Jim looked startled. Whatever it was that bothered Leonard so much, he wanted to make it go away. “Can we go home right now? I’m done with family reunions for this century.”Jim took Leonard’s hand, the man was still clenching a tricoder in his fist, and looked at him for a long moment. That is not what they’ve planned for this evening. He was still angry, but the feeling ghosted in his mind like a reminder not to let his guard down rather than the rage focused on one person he felt half an hour ago. He tried to smile honestly but convincingly, working his fingers around the buttons of Leonard’s fancy shirt. He wanted to say what was on his mind, but words kept slipping away from him. Suddenly making up sentences became harder than catching a fish with his bare hands. He gave up on the idea of a spontaneous honesty-hour and simply kissed Leonard’s furrowed brow, like he used to do when the man would come home after an especially exhausting day. He said then that he wanted to kiss away the doctor in Len and lurk out the man he loved so much from behind that grumpy mask that radiated a clear message of ‘fuck off’ to everyone. “I was so pissed at Sam after he left” the whisper against Leonard’s lips is barely audible. He wraps his hands around Jim in an overly protective way and for a split second he thinks about the last time he hugged his daughter like this, wanting to shelter her from everything bad in this world. “The first night I stayed outside for hours and screamed until I just couldn’t anymore. I was so angry I didn’t even notice I was crying the whole time.”They move towards the small bedroom and sit on the bed, letting go only to snuggle even closer. Leonard was waiting for this conversation for years. Another missing piece from the puzzle of Jim’s mind. The older man stayed silent, giving Jim the chance to get it off his chest. “I told myself I hated him for years. I’ve wasted years, Leo, trying to convince myself that I couldn’t love my brother and that I could live without him.” Jim was looking him in the eyes, as if apologising for being so stupid. _For being fragile and not strong enough._ They don’t talk for minutes, listening to the sounds of the night outside the window and landing kisses here and there. Marking, biting slightly - not to hurt but to give that pleasant chill that went down the spine and made you tense in the best way possible. Jim’s mind was spinning so fast he couldn’t get a hold of a coherent thought, but despite all that he found himself talking again. “It took me too long to understand what he went through. I was just a kid and couldn’t acknowledge half of the shit he already understood. He was there when I needed him and he taught me how to fight my way through Frank’s crap, but who was there for him? He was my guardian all my life and I never did anything for him, not once. Staying in that house would’ve killed him. He was smart, you know. Smarter than me. He could’ve done so much more if only he had the chance. I understand him now. He needed to find a way of being himself again.” Life is unfair, that is no news, but sometimes Leonard wondered how come that one person gets challenges like this and others have it so easy. Jim talks about how he drove off that car off a cliff, how he stole chocolate from the store only to give it to other children. He sings his favourite song that he used to listen to with Sam. They had an old CD player hidden in one of the boxes on the attic. He goes on and on, sharing memories and laughing at some of the stupid things he did and his voice is rasp from all the talking and then he’s talking about today and crying. Sobbing shamelessly and giving in to all the repressed pain he kept hiding from everyone. His face is somehow more peaceful and he looks even younger like this, the reflection of that broken childhood deprived of the innocent naivety everyone should be allowed to have. “We can go tomorrow, catch the first shuttle and never come back again. Let’s go to bed now, okay? A good night of sleep should help.” Jim’s headache is getting worse and he’s starting to feel tired, the events of the day catching up on him. “I don’t want you to think he was like what that bastard told you. He was the best I could have. And now I have you. I think you two would’ve gotten along. And he would’ve adored your little princess. Believe me, when I last talked to him he was asking about you and your family. I think he missed mom. They met only once since he got transferred to that godforsaken station on Delta Vega.”Whether the never-ending flow of words was supposed to stop the crying or Jim just wasn’t sure he could get back to this conversation ever, Leonard didn’t know. But after some time Jim’s words became slower and he finally calmed down. Leonard secretly swore that he would take Jim to Georgia and make sure that the meeting with his family will be the opposite of today’s nightmare.


End file.
